Friday, March 9, 2007
LoGo
http://logo.blogs.com/new_now_next/2007/03/logo_launch_par.html#more
A Big Gay Whoops
Gay D to the Rama!
Last night was my birthday, AND the LOGO - Time Warner Launch. If you guys didn't know, Logo is the gay network launched two years ago by MTV Networks. That said, they've finally struck a deal with Time Warner who will now distribute their channel (#146) on millions of new homes. What this means is that America just got a lot gayer. And I'm all for it.
Past that, they had this brilliantly fabulous soiree with gay celebrities, hot well-manicured men all around and tons of former gay real world castmembers, including myself. So, I'm there with my roomie, and my writing partner. We're standing there and Lance Bass walks by. Of course we all get excited. My friends were excited because it was, well Lance Bass. I was excited because I knew Davis, from the Real World: Denver was supposed to be there. Cue Reichen drama. I love gay Hollywood.
Here's the deal. In Atlanta, Davis claimed to have a threesome with Reichen about two months ago. I remember it well because Davis was texting me about it that night.
Wat up
Hey
Guess who I’m with? Reichen. He’s HOTTT
Cool, where u at?
Atlanta
Should I hook up with him?
I guess. Sure?
Blah
Blah blah
Blah Blah Blah
I told him, yeah, go for it I guess. But remember, two bottoms do NOT equal a top! (cue audience laughter)
So, apparently someone (more than one source says Davis) leaked the info to perezhilton.com. Then it was all over the (gay)news. Headlines read:
"DID REAL WORLD DAVIS SPLIT UP REICHEN AND LANCE?"
No! They had broken up long before. Its just that someone is trying to plant a story. I mean, it happens all the time Re: Jessica Simpson & John Mayer.
So, when Lance walked away, my friends and I started laughing at the situation at hand. Thinking we were in our very own gay version of "Friends" we cheersed and went on our merry way. Not but five minutes pass and I see our friend Davis standing on the stairs. Immediately I shout, "DAVIS, WATCH OUT. BOY BAND SIGHTING AT 8 O'CLOCK!"
I laughed thinking I was clever, and patted him on the shoulder, "good to see you bud." And walked away. As I waved he sat there shaking his head.
I walked back to my friends and we danced, gossiped about what to expect next week on UGLY BETTY and drank some more. Not knowing I had offended anyone, a cute, latino looking man walked up to me.
"um, Tyler, Davis just wanted you to know that what you said was REALLY tasteless."
I just starred back blankly. Was this guy serious? What was going on? What did I say? Then I realized the N*sync joke probably didn't play well with him. My friends looked at me with equally blank stares. Not that they didn't have something to say, they were simply drunk, just like me and didn't give a shit.
"Well, tell him sorry?" I responded trying to feign interest at this point.
The cute latino man walked away, seemingly satisfied with his efforts. As I went to approach the group to bitch I thought to myself. “Davis has quite the nerve. He’s the one that slept (well, whatever you call it when two bottoms attempt sex) with Lance’s ex-boyfriend and wants press about it. Now THAT is tasteless…wait…why is my drink empty. Why do I care…WAITOR!”
And with that, I was like Katharine McPhee. Over it.
When will there be a gay real world? I’d totally be the accidental asshole all over again. I kind of love it. Lesson to be learned kids? Do not make bottom jokes to a bottom. That’s all I’m saying.
Last night was my birthday, AND the LOGO - Time Warner Launch. If you guys didn't know, Logo is the gay network launched two years ago by MTV Networks. That said, they've finally struck a deal with Time Warner who will now distribute their channel (#146) on millions of new homes. What this means is that America just got a lot gayer. And I'm all for it.
Past that, they had this brilliantly fabulous soiree with gay celebrities, hot well-manicured men all around and tons of former gay real world castmembers, including myself. So, I'm there with my roomie, and my writing partner. We're standing there and Lance Bass walks by. Of course we all get excited. My friends were excited because it was, well Lance Bass. I was excited because I knew Davis, from the Real World: Denver was supposed to be there. Cue Reichen drama. I love gay Hollywood.
Here's the deal. In Atlanta, Davis claimed to have a threesome with Reichen about two months ago. I remember it well because Davis was texting me about it that night.
Wat up
Hey
Guess who I’m with? Reichen. He’s HOTTT
Cool, where u at?
Atlanta
Should I hook up with him?
I guess. Sure?
Blah
Blah blah
Blah Blah Blah
I told him, yeah, go for it I guess. But remember, two bottoms do NOT equal a top! (cue audience laughter)
So, apparently someone (more than one source says Davis) leaked the info to perezhilton.com. Then it was all over the (gay)news. Headlines read:
"DID REAL WORLD DAVIS SPLIT UP REICHEN AND LANCE?"
No! They had broken up long before. Its just that someone is trying to plant a story. I mean, it happens all the time Re: Jessica Simpson & John Mayer.
So, when Lance walked away, my friends and I started laughing at the situation at hand. Thinking we were in our very own gay version of "Friends" we cheersed and went on our merry way. Not but five minutes pass and I see our friend Davis standing on the stairs. Immediately I shout, "DAVIS, WATCH OUT. BOY BAND SIGHTING AT 8 O'CLOCK!"
I laughed thinking I was clever, and patted him on the shoulder, "good to see you bud." And walked away. As I waved he sat there shaking his head.
I walked back to my friends and we danced, gossiped about what to expect next week on UGLY BETTY and drank some more. Not knowing I had offended anyone, a cute, latino looking man walked up to me.
"um, Tyler, Davis just wanted you to know that what you said was REALLY tasteless."
I just starred back blankly. Was this guy serious? What was going on? What did I say? Then I realized the N*sync joke probably didn't play well with him. My friends looked at me with equally blank stares. Not that they didn't have something to say, they were simply drunk, just like me and didn't give a shit.
"Well, tell him sorry?" I responded trying to feign interest at this point.
The cute latino man walked away, seemingly satisfied with his efforts. As I went to approach the group to bitch I thought to myself. “Davis has quite the nerve. He’s the one that slept (well, whatever you call it when two bottoms attempt sex) with Lance’s ex-boyfriend and wants press about it. Now THAT is tasteless…wait…why is my drink empty. Why do I care…WAITOR!”
And with that, I was like Katharine McPhee. Over it.
When will there be a gay real world? I’d totally be the accidental asshole all over again. I kind of love it. Lesson to be learned kids? Do not make bottom jokes to a bottom. That’s all I’m saying.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The life of a Marine...
My best friend forwarded me this news story. It is about his freshman year roommate from college, at Tufts. It was embarassing for me to read, because, after having read the article, all I could think to myself was, "Well Tyler, all you did today was go running, shave your back, and re-orient your "inner-vision".
Please read the article, makes you realize what's really going on over there...
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C., Jan. 16, 2007 - Acting boldly in the face of adversity is something all Marines are taught. Against an enemy loath to engage Americans directly, few Marines get to test their mettle in combat and fewer still distinguish themselves so heroically that their gallantry merits special recognition.
U.S. Marine Corps 1st Lt. Elliott Ackerman of 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, on Jan. 12, accepted the Silver Star, the nation’s third-highest military award for valor.
“From that position that day, we were a little exposed,” he recalled. “Insurgents came out and slowly tried to surround us.”
For Ackerman, the fighting was just beginning. As the battle ensued, he recognized that his Marines on the rooftop of the building were exposed. He ordered them to seek cover in the building and headed to the roof himself. His actions prompted a hail of enemy fire on his position.
“The Marines, like Marines always do, just started performing in an incredible manner. We had a job to do and just had to make sure it got done,” said Ackerman.
According to his citation, Ackerman took heavy enemy fire on the rooftop but still “coolly employed an M240G machine gun to mark targets for supporting tanks, with devastating effects on the enemy.”
In all, Ackerman was able to simultaneously direct tank fire, coordinate four separate medical evacuations and continually attack with his platoon, all the while suffering from his own shrapnel wounds.
Ackerman said he was only doing what he saw others around him doing.
“I think we all go out there and know what our job is and what’s expected of you,” he said. “There is only one alternative; it is to do it or not do it. You have to do what needs to be done in a situation. That’s what all the Marines were doing. I feel this award doesn’t represent something for myself; it represents what I saw everyone doing out there.”
As of Jan. 9, according to statistics maintained by the Marine Corps, only 69 Marines had received the Silver Star since the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq began.
Ackerman, a 26-year-old native of Washington, D.C., was recognized for his courage under fire while serving as a platoon commander during the November 2004 battle to wrest Fallujah from the grip of fanatical insurgents.
Brig. Gen. Charles M. Gurganus, assistant division commander, 2nd Marine Division, presented the award as Ackerman’s family and fellow Marines looked on.
The citation summarizing then-2nd Lt. Ackerman’s ac tions covers a six-day period that began on Nov. 10, 2004, when his platoon came under fire from a heavy enemy counterattack.
“We had a mission to get a foothold for the battalion,” said Ackerman, who returned last month from his second deployment, the latest as a member of Battalion Landing Team 1/8, the ground combat element of the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit. “We saw that the original building we intended to go in to just wouldn’t work to get that mission done. We pushed a little bit deeper than it probably would have been prudent to do.”
Pushing deeper ensured his unit would accomplish its mission, but the advance left him and his Marines more exposed to enemy fighters, who responded by pouring heavy fire on the Marines’ position.
As his Marines began to take injuries, Ackerman sprang to action, twice pulling his Marines to safety and coordinating their evacuation. The amphibious-assault vehicle sent to retrieve his Marines had trouble finding them, lo st in the fog of war. Ackerman again risked his life, charging into the open from a covered position to flag down the vehicle and direct it to his Marines’ location. His actions took him through a “gauntlet of deadly enemy fire,” according to the citation.
Please read the article, makes you realize what's really going on over there...
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C., Jan. 16, 2007 - Acting boldly in the face of adversity is something all Marines are taught. Against an enemy loath to engage Americans directly, few Marines get to test their mettle in combat and fewer still distinguish themselves so heroically that their gallantry merits special recognition.
U.S. Marine Corps 1st Lt. Elliott Ackerman of 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, on Jan. 12, accepted the Silver Star, the nation’s third-highest military award for valor.
“From that position that day, we were a little exposed,” he recalled. “Insurgents came out and slowly tried to surround us.”
For Ackerman, the fighting was just beginning. As the battle ensued, he recognized that his Marines on the rooftop of the building were exposed. He ordered them to seek cover in the building and headed to the roof himself. His actions prompted a hail of enemy fire on his position.
“The Marines, like Marines always do, just started performing in an incredible manner. We had a job to do and just had to make sure it got done,” said Ackerman.
According to his citation, Ackerman took heavy enemy fire on the rooftop but still “coolly employed an M240G machine gun to mark targets for supporting tanks, with devastating effects on the enemy.”
In all, Ackerman was able to simultaneously direct tank fire, coordinate four separate medical evacuations and continually attack with his platoon, all the while suffering from his own shrapnel wounds.
Ackerman said he was only doing what he saw others around him doing.
“I think we all go out there and know what our job is and what’s expected of you,” he said. “There is only one alternative; it is to do it or not do it. You have to do what needs to be done in a situation. That’s what all the Marines were doing. I feel this award doesn’t represent something for myself; it represents what I saw everyone doing out there.”
As of Jan. 9, according to statistics maintained by the Marine Corps, only 69 Marines had received the Silver Star since the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq began.
Ackerman, a 26-year-old native of Washington, D.C., was recognized for his courage under fire while serving as a platoon commander during the November 2004 battle to wrest Fallujah from the grip of fanatical insurgents.
Brig. Gen. Charles M. Gurganus, assistant division commander, 2nd Marine Division, presented the award as Ackerman’s family and fellow Marines looked on.
The citation summarizing then-2nd Lt. Ackerman’s ac tions covers a six-day period that began on Nov. 10, 2004, when his platoon came under fire from a heavy enemy counterattack.
“We had a mission to get a foothold for the battalion,” said Ackerman, who returned last month from his second deployment, the latest as a member of Battalion Landing Team 1/8, the ground combat element of the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit. “We saw that the original building we intended to go in to just wouldn’t work to get that mission done. We pushed a little bit deeper than it probably would have been prudent to do.”
Pushing deeper ensured his unit would accomplish its mission, but the advance left him and his Marines more exposed to enemy fighters, who responded by pouring heavy fire on the Marines’ position.
As his Marines began to take injuries, Ackerman sprang to action, twice pulling his Marines to safety and coordinating their evacuation. The amphibious-assault vehicle sent to retrieve his Marines had trouble finding them, lo st in the fog of war. Ackerman again risked his life, charging into the open from a covered position to flag down the vehicle and direct it to his Marines’ location. His actions took him through a “gauntlet of deadly enemy fire,” according to the citation.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
The Pita Sisters & The Case of Geoff Mongo Zann
The pita Logs – May 20th, 2006
Jeslyn driving down mainstreet Easton on her cellphone in her Mini-Van.
“Diane, I just don’t get it. Jim seems to be less and less interested in me and more interested in the new Xbox he purchased. I thought when men go through their mid-life crisis, they would be more intent on buying cars and galavanting around with young floozies. All he wants to do is scratch his balls and play the Mortal Kombat X-treme IV”
(Slams on breaks for old Jewish man crossing street stuffing Challah bread down his throat)
“Christ on a cross! Anyways, I just don’t get it. I mean, I could manage life without the sex, but, now, no attention. Does he think I’m a robot?”
The Pita Logs, 4/14/06
"Julia, what is the matter!" Diane frantically exclaimed to an obviously frazzled Julia
"I've had enough, enough! Who is this Geof Mongo Zann. He has invaded every aspect of my life! I'm gonna die!" again spat out Julia
Sadly, in many ways, this wasn't a recent, and predictable bout of Julia's dramatics. There was, some validity to her statements. A mysterious man, cloaked in a dark, satin red jumpsuit had indeed been invading every aspect of julia's codependent life.
At the supermarket, there he was, picking up some thinly sliced cold cuts at the deli, while she peered nervously through the Nabisco cracker selection.
At her son's swim practice, he again appeared, in nothing less than a Toyota Tercell, with his gay little jumpsuit on, mouthing, what seemed to Julia, the lyrics to George Micheal's late 80s hit, "Freedom '90".
A few days later, again, this shady man, Geof Mongo Zann, "accidently" bumped in to her at the local burger joint, Benchwarmer Bobs.
The facebook poke she recieved from him the next morning only confirmed the fact that something was awry. Something dark was in the air, and it wasn't the black clowds drifting over from Morder. Something much more sinister.
Julia knew she had to take matters into her own hands. Well aware that Jeslyn was having one of those "me" moments that last from Monday afternoon until thursday evening and that Diane was dealing with a broker as she put another mortgage on her home.
"Diane, its me, Julia. I may need the number to Lt. Jenkins! Julia mumbled as her hand shook so bad it was audible to a very stressed out Diane...
And the case of The Pita Sisters and Geof Mongo Zann continues....
Jeslyn driving down mainstreet Easton on her cellphone in her Mini-Van.
“Diane, I just don’t get it. Jim seems to be less and less interested in me and more interested in the new Xbox he purchased. I thought when men go through their mid-life crisis, they would be more intent on buying cars and galavanting around with young floozies. All he wants to do is scratch his balls and play the Mortal Kombat X-treme IV”
(Slams on breaks for old Jewish man crossing street stuffing Challah bread down his throat)
“Christ on a cross! Anyways, I just don’t get it. I mean, I could manage life without the sex, but, now, no attention. Does he think I’m a robot?”
The Pita Logs, 4/14/06
"Julia, what is the matter!" Diane frantically exclaimed to an obviously frazzled Julia
"I've had enough, enough! Who is this Geof Mongo Zann. He has invaded every aspect of my life! I'm gonna die!" again spat out Julia
Sadly, in many ways, this wasn't a recent, and predictable bout of Julia's dramatics. There was, some validity to her statements. A mysterious man, cloaked in a dark, satin red jumpsuit had indeed been invading every aspect of julia's codependent life.
At the supermarket, there he was, picking up some thinly sliced cold cuts at the deli, while she peered nervously through the Nabisco cracker selection.
At her son's swim practice, he again appeared, in nothing less than a Toyota Tercell, with his gay little jumpsuit on, mouthing, what seemed to Julia, the lyrics to George Micheal's late 80s hit, "Freedom '90".
A few days later, again, this shady man, Geof Mongo Zann, "accidently" bumped in to her at the local burger joint, Benchwarmer Bobs.
The facebook poke she recieved from him the next morning only confirmed the fact that something was awry. Something dark was in the air, and it wasn't the black clowds drifting over from Morder. Something much more sinister.
Julia knew she had to take matters into her own hands. Well aware that Jeslyn was having one of those "me" moments that last from Monday afternoon until thursday evening and that Diane was dealing with a broker as she put another mortgage on her home.
"Diane, its me, Julia. I may need the number to Lt. Jenkins! Julia mumbled as her hand shook so bad it was audible to a very stressed out Diane...
And the case of The Pita Sisters and Geof Mongo Zann continues....
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Ebay Auction Items!
Ebay Items for Auctions!
Hey Everyone -
Aren't you glad I'm back with blogs? I can hear the collective, sarcastic grown across America.
"Yes Tyler, so glad you're back!"
With that said, I'm excited to announce that I am auctioning some cool items on Ebay. Part of the proceeds actually will go to a foundation I'm attempting to start, to bring visibility and awareness to gay athletes. More on that later. In the meantime however, feel free to check the items out.
All are MTV related. That is to say that these are all items that I got from the VMAs. When you are a celebrity, or a faux one like myself, you get to go to gifting suites. I picked up all these amazing items, and am now putting them up for auction, because really, at the end of the day, do I really need a designer handbag? (and the question, though rhetorical, does have an answer, NO)
Here are the links to the items, with their pictures, retail price, etc. Enjoy taking a look. Pass along to a friend if they love sunglasses or handbags!
Your sister in kwan,
Tyler D.
Ebay Auction Items: Links
Malibu Sunglasses- Dolce & Gobbana:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086387858&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
D&G Aviators:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086143033&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
Felix bag:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086144998&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
Tallulah hangbag:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086146594&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
Hey Everyone -
Aren't you glad I'm back with blogs? I can hear the collective, sarcastic grown across America.
"Yes Tyler, so glad you're back!"
With that said, I'm excited to announce that I am auctioning some cool items on Ebay. Part of the proceeds actually will go to a foundation I'm attempting to start, to bring visibility and awareness to gay athletes. More on that later. In the meantime however, feel free to check the items out.
All are MTV related. That is to say that these are all items that I got from the VMAs. When you are a celebrity, or a faux one like myself, you get to go to gifting suites. I picked up all these amazing items, and am now putting them up for auction, because really, at the end of the day, do I really need a designer handbag? (and the question, though rhetorical, does have an answer, NO)
Here are the links to the items, with their pictures, retail price, etc. Enjoy taking a look. Pass along to a friend if they love sunglasses or handbags!
Your sister in kwan,
Tyler D.
Ebay Auction Items: Links
Malibu Sunglasses- Dolce & Gobbana:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086387858&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
D&G Aviators:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086143033&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
Felix bag:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086144998&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
Tallulah hangbag:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=180086146594&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=008
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Migraine on V-Day
Hey Guys (and gals)
So, my new routine will go as follows: Wake up with sleep in my, look to the mountains north of me and appreciate nature. Then I will sit down at my computer and blog while drinking no less than two glasses of water. At my computer I will BLOG! I'm trying to make it a habit, so I can keep you kids updated on all my comings and goings!
But, I'm currently recovering from a TERRIBLE migraine headache, suffered last night. I got it at the mall at 5 and had it until 1am. Now I get while all those women in headache commercials look so angry and frustrated. I wanted to literally die! But, a midnight run to the handy 7-11 allowed me to quell the pain.
Also of note today, on this extremely informative, yet somewhat boring blog, I'm having my headshots redone today. How Exciting! I wish my skin looked a little better, however, thanks to MAC make-up products (ahem, Janelle) I'm pretty confident it'll all turn out alright. Now I just have to worry about my hair...
But, I have big news to deliver, I'll wait and do it on its own blog, perhaps tomorrow.
Happy Valentines Day! (says the bitterly single gay man....)
Ty
P.S. I skipped all the obvious Vagina - V-day jokes as a favor to you all. However, if any of you reading this are in college, and thinking of attending The Vagina Monologues, do it! Celebrate Feminism. I do it on a daily basis.
So, my new routine will go as follows: Wake up with sleep in my, look to the mountains north of me and appreciate nature. Then I will sit down at my computer and blog while drinking no less than two glasses of water. At my computer I will BLOG! I'm trying to make it a habit, so I can keep you kids updated on all my comings and goings!
But, I'm currently recovering from a TERRIBLE migraine headache, suffered last night. I got it at the mall at 5 and had it until 1am. Now I get while all those women in headache commercials look so angry and frustrated. I wanted to literally die! But, a midnight run to the handy 7-11 allowed me to quell the pain.
Also of note today, on this extremely informative, yet somewhat boring blog, I'm having my headshots redone today. How Exciting! I wish my skin looked a little better, however, thanks to MAC make-up products (ahem, Janelle) I'm pretty confident it'll all turn out alright. Now I just have to worry about my hair...
But, I have big news to deliver, I'll wait and do it on its own blog, perhaps tomorrow.
Happy Valentines Day! (says the bitterly single gay man....)
Ty
P.S. I skipped all the obvious Vagina - V-day jokes as a favor to you all. However, if any of you reading this are in college, and thinking of attending The Vagina Monologues, do it! Celebrate Feminism. I do it on a daily basis.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Midnight's Corner
Periodically, I wil begin featuring "gems" from my friend, the incredible Dan Gilmore aka Midnight. He is the first and only person who can brag that they began their own facebook blog. They were comedic/philosophical perfection. So, when his wit graces the wall of my profile, I must make every attempt to acknowledge this greatness. But, this week, he left this:
"I know I've been lobbying for a new "fabulous" for years,
but today I think I may have hit on it: marvelous. It's way
more Tim Gunn than Kimora Lee Simmons; it's gay plus gravitas.
Spread the gayspel far and wide."
Well said, my friend, well said.
"I know I've been lobbying for a new "fabulous" for years,
but today I think I may have hit on it: marvelous. It's way
more Tim Gunn than Kimora Lee Simmons; it's gay plus gravitas.
Spread the gayspel far and wide."
Well said, my friend, well said.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
State of the Union
Loving the Bushisms that are flying at me minute by minute. I will continually add random thoughts throughout though Timmy is making me forget all of the funny things I wanted to write...Ughghgh. Fuck. I'll be back shortly.
Webisodes
So, I'm doing analysis (blogging) for a website concerning the Real World: Denver. I post them on my Myspace but thought you guys, my loyal tylerduck.com fans, would appreciate to see them here on my site as well. UGhghghg. Being cyber is really tough sometimes.
The Real World: Denver Ep. 12
Dear Jenn,
Please NEVER stop drinking. You make great TV!
Love,
Executives at MTV
In all honesty, the story editors at Bunim/Murray have apparently already hit their creative wall. That is to say that this week’s episode was basically a stream of conscious view of the past week, but on crack. Whitney Houston crack, no less. Despite this lack of coherent storyline, let’s take a look at what happened.
Is it me, or is Davis kind of like a really hot robot? Not to be mean, but really. He speaks in an odd southern, monotone voice. Don’t get me wrong, the boy is absolutely beautiful, however, he is basically expressionless, that is, unless he’s piss ass drunk. Then, well, he’s just a drunk robot, but you get the point. The editors try and fool the viewers into thinking that Brooke may fall in love with Davis’s internalized homophobia, obviously manifested in his faux-romanitic intentions towards Brooke. Well, guys in the editing room, ya’ ain’t foolin’ anyone. Least of all Brooke, who speaking with Tyrie more than gets the point across that in no way shape or form is she going to let the editors manipulate the footage. And, you know what Brooke, Kudos to you! I could learn a lesson or two from you. First storyline dies, just like my bonor for Davis watching him awkwardly flirt with Brooke. Yeah, it made me feel uncomfortable too.
Now, for the best part of the episode, but probably the least explosive, Stephen’s girlfriend…MERCII! Yes, guys, she really spells her name with two-I’s. I like how that plotline completely dies and goes no where, so they can focus the rest of the episode on Jenn’s drunken tirades. Blah blah blah Stephen. Mercii is probably whoopin’ yo’ ass as I type this because she’s so pissed at what she saw this week. And you know what, if I were Mercii, I’d be pissed too. I’d call my mom up and ask the bitch why she spelled my name like I had downs’ syndrom. Damn woman. Stephen, best of luck with that one. Though, I thought it was pretty cool the way you handled Drunk Jenn. Admirable. I like Stephen. Though he’s Republican, I think I’d like to do a challenge with him.
Last, but certainly not least, is the award for Crazy Bitch of the episode. This week’s award goes to a very satisfying Jenn. [cue applause] Jenn’s non-sober antics are causing some fans to wonder if she’ll be appearing on the new Oh! Channel hit, the real world sister show, The Bad Girls Club. I say casting should forward her right along. She’d be perfect! Throwing shit, swearing, spitting, cat fights. Oh my god, I almost forgot. Did anyone else notice how they had to blur her tits while she was yelling at Alex. It was amazing. I mean, it was pretty low of Alex to say that to Stephen. Davis, you are totally a bitch snitch, and I love you for it. Jenn totally pulled a Tara Reid. Girl didn’t even know she was hanging out. Jenn, we all raise our glasses to you!
Next week’s episode looks lame, but I’ll totally be watching it anyways. By guys!
The Real World: Denver Ep. 12
Dear Jenn,
Please NEVER stop drinking. You make great TV!
Love,
Executives at MTV
In all honesty, the story editors at Bunim/Murray have apparently already hit their creative wall. That is to say that this week’s episode was basically a stream of conscious view of the past week, but on crack. Whitney Houston crack, no less. Despite this lack of coherent storyline, let’s take a look at what happened.
Is it me, or is Davis kind of like a really hot robot? Not to be mean, but really. He speaks in an odd southern, monotone voice. Don’t get me wrong, the boy is absolutely beautiful, however, he is basically expressionless, that is, unless he’s piss ass drunk. Then, well, he’s just a drunk robot, but you get the point. The editors try and fool the viewers into thinking that Brooke may fall in love with Davis’s internalized homophobia, obviously manifested in his faux-romanitic intentions towards Brooke. Well, guys in the editing room, ya’ ain’t foolin’ anyone. Least of all Brooke, who speaking with Tyrie more than gets the point across that in no way shape or form is she going to let the editors manipulate the footage. And, you know what Brooke, Kudos to you! I could learn a lesson or two from you. First storyline dies, just like my bonor for Davis watching him awkwardly flirt with Brooke. Yeah, it made me feel uncomfortable too.
Now, for the best part of the episode, but probably the least explosive, Stephen’s girlfriend…MERCII! Yes, guys, she really spells her name with two-I’s. I like how that plotline completely dies and goes no where, so they can focus the rest of the episode on Jenn’s drunken tirades. Blah blah blah Stephen. Mercii is probably whoopin’ yo’ ass as I type this because she’s so pissed at what she saw this week. And you know what, if I were Mercii, I’d be pissed too. I’d call my mom up and ask the bitch why she spelled my name like I had downs’ syndrom. Damn woman. Stephen, best of luck with that one. Though, I thought it was pretty cool the way you handled Drunk Jenn. Admirable. I like Stephen. Though he’s Republican, I think I’d like to do a challenge with him.
Last, but certainly not least, is the award for Crazy Bitch of the episode. This week’s award goes to a very satisfying Jenn. [cue applause] Jenn’s non-sober antics are causing some fans to wonder if she’ll be appearing on the new Oh! Channel hit, the real world sister show, The Bad Girls Club. I say casting should forward her right along. She’d be perfect! Throwing shit, swearing, spitting, cat fights. Oh my god, I almost forgot. Did anyone else notice how they had to blur her tits while she was yelling at Alex. It was amazing. I mean, it was pretty low of Alex to say that to Stephen. Davis, you are totally a bitch snitch, and I love you for it. Jenn totally pulled a Tara Reid. Girl didn’t even know she was hanging out. Jenn, we all raise our glasses to you!
Next week’s episode looks lame, but I’ll totally be watching it anyways. By guys!
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